....Its late...
Well not really that late. but late anyways..im listening music and sitting on my beanbag, my doodling papers around me....im shivering, bit cold i guess. *sighs lil*
im sick again. stypid flue thingie...but im wake cos i cant get sleep cos im again strugling with myself...i want to puke what i eated today. i want to cry cos i eat...
im thinkin again that heck i wont eat...just drink water and juice and more water.
i feel like i wanna kick the wall and scream..i feel so frusrated and hating myself again so much again. I was listening my mp3 player and realiced that i hardly heard a thing with my right ear, i was like great my hearing has got ALOT worse along the way...so no more its not so far saying im half deaf >.<

its while since i have hated myself as much i do hate myself now..
not hearing well anymore. those odd seizures i have, fat ugly me...*rubs lil her head*
i try to think positive and be like hey things will be okay. i learn to like myself.and stuff, im good looking and stuff. But...its like so BIG LIE to myself that saying those things make me angry then blue and finally depressed....

i drinked lil cold water and even drinkin that made me feel like ugh...too much...i guess i go back to this i wont eat a thing on week, and eat warm food on weekends, when mah mate is seeing that i eat >.> then again....uh i dont know..

*shivers again* im jelous to my lil bro who cought our blood lines geens, that he can eat what ever he wants and nuuuu idea no even wich to get fat >.< and im like fuck i want those genese myself! but oh nooo...

i had to get thease stypid rounder genes, the body type of of..not apple but green sweet thingie what grows in tree too....*thinks* perry i think...

*is just so depressed that just lays curled up to tiny small ball on her beanbag.sniffing lil and pulling her plankie overherself, and huggling tightly her plushie*